You know how Facebook has that little box at the top of your feed that says, “What’s on your mind?” That’s the kind of story you’re getting today, well a few stories actually. Too short for their own post but I thought you guys might like to hear them anyway.
Unwanted Hair
I was at a red light the other day and I flipped down my mirror to check my teeth, yes, I do that to make sure I’m not speaking to someone with a piece of lettuce or something loitering between my teeth. So, as I’m about to flip it closed again, I notice a long hair on my neck. I guess that’s better than between my teeth, but how long has that been there? Long enough that one of you jerks that reads these and I see regularly could have pointed it out! All I could focus on was how many people have seen my neck beard as I raced home for the tweezers. I made quick work of removing every hair on my neck before Barnum & Bailey showed up at my door. Being a woman and getting older is the worst! As if I don’t already have enough prep work to do to look halfway decent…it’s like polishing a turd.
Dating at 46 in 2023
Do you guys ever look back at your Google search history? I like to save mine for when I’m at happy hour with friends, it’s always good for a laugh. Well, so is the show and tell happy hour, but I’ll save that happy hour past time for another story. In this day and age everything is online, including Mr. Right. Or so they say, I still can’t seem to find that elusive son of a bitch. The search continues…But I never in my life thought I would use Urban Dictionary as a source for anything, let alone how to decipher online dating messages. For instance, yfm. You feel me? No, Roy, I do not “feel you.” Spell that shit out. And even when you do it’s still a hard pass for me. How about this one? Straycation. That’s always a fun one to see in your inbox. No, no thank you 26-year-old Jake. I do not want to hook up while you’re down here and your wife is in New Jersey. That list could go on for days and gets muuuuch worse than that. Maybe I’ll do a two-parter on that one or dating at 46 in 2023 in general. It’s wild out here and I deserve a medal for my patience.
Words are Hard
I’ve really outdone myself this time. Just when I think I couldn’t possibly stick my foot in my mouth any further…I need to learn to just smile and nod and keep my mouth shut. So, I have the world’s worst startle reflex. I usually have my head in the clouds and thinking of anything besides what’s going on around me. I jump, scream and/or make weird noises when this happens. And in turn things usually get a little shaken up in the process. I was getting ready to take Roxy over to the park, I get her loaded and rounded the car to get in myself. There is a handsome gentleman here in the RV park and he said something to me as he was walking by. Of course, because I can’t seem to ever pay attention, I jumped, let out a little yelp and my sunglasses flew off the top of my head. They hit the ground, and a lens pops out. Great, and my shaking hands couldn’t fix them, so he comes over and takes them from me. Struggling to get the job done, I say to him, “Let me know if you can’t get it in.” I swear I am not feral, and I have been socialized. Since then, he has done it twice more. The startling part not the getting it in part.
OR is in my top 3 states that I have visited so far. The views are breathtaking, so much different than the flatlands of IN. Enjoy some of my favorites.
