Sometimes I work on these stories for times when I’m really busy and I know you guys are wanting a new story. They may not be current but they are still hilarious nonetheless. This is real life…I hope you find it as entertaining as I did.
In my former life, I lived in a home that didn’t have wheels and I was a hairstylist often working long days and evenings. This particular day was no exception. I got home earlier than Rob, did my evening ritual and I was headed to bed as he walked through the door from his long day at work.
I was startled awake in the middle of the night by the doorbell. I threw the covers off and sat straight up in bed ready to race to the door. Rob was lying next to me and I hear him grumble “Don’t worry about it. Stay in bed.” I asked what was going on knowing we had a couple of neighbors at the time with various health concerns we would look in on. Wondering why he wasn’t jumping out of bed as quickly as I was he says, “That doorbell has been going off for hours and you are just now hearing it?” Again, confused by his tone and wondering just who in the hell he thought he was talking to, I barked back “Are you going to tell me what’s going on or not?”
He let out a deep sigh and the story began.
After an evening of a little TV and a whole lot of beers, he stumbles into the bedroom to lie down. Comfortable and just fallen to sleep…DING DONG! He jumps up, throws his clothes on and runs to the door.
No one was there.
Thinking maybe he misheard, or maybe it was the beers, he comes back to bed and settles in with one eye and one ear open. Comfortable and just fallen to sleep again…DING DONG! He jumps up, throws his clothes on and runs to the door again.
No one was there.
Convinced the neighborhood kids are ding dong ditching him, he’s more than a little pissed. He goes outside, looks around the house for fresh tracks in the snow and he yells OUT LOUD “I’m going to beat your asses and then I’m going to drag you home and beat your daddy’s asses!”
He stomps back inside and goes to the bedroom window, peeks through the blinds where he can clearly see the doorbell. And waits. And his wait is soon rewarded with, you guessed it…DING DONG!
No one was there.
And that’s when the dots connected. Every night for weeks on end, Rob would come home from work, mash the doorbell on his way in and get the dog going. She would bark and raise hell as he giggled all the way through the door. This particular cold, snowy, January, Friday night, in Indiana it was no exception.
As he was explaining to me that the doorbell had a short in it I say, “Can’t you just unplug it?” I could feel the room get hot again as he tried to explain to me that was not how a doorbell works. “Besides,” he says, “I already tried to pry it off the house with my knife.”
Before I was laughing, pretty hard, during his entire story, but now I am HOWLING as we both hear…DING DONG!
We talk a little more about the plan of action for this doorbell situation as we get comfortable and are almost asleep again I say, “I wonder how long it will be before it goes off again.” As if right on cue…DING DONG! I turn to him and say, “About that long.”
A few of my favorites from the Keys so far…
