Sliders

Wow. How are we already knocking on 2022’s door? That was the longest year of my life that flew by. I’ve been sitting on this little gem of a story for quite a while. Had to tip back a little extra to get this one out. And it will probably take a little more to actually press the “publish” button. But nevertheless, get ready for this EPIC fail that I call my life. 

As I was developing my gardens, yep, throwing those things out at you guys again, go buy them! www.sownsimply.com Anyway, each garden comes with a special insert specific to each garden about how to use the plants once you grow them, with recipes and such. And it just so happens there is this younger, single, handsome man in the campground that may or may not just so happen to know quite a bit about “recipes.” 

We had established a friendship at this point, and I was sure he wouldn’t mind giving me…I mean my work, MY WORK a once over. So, I do what any curious, single, entrepreneur would do, I invite him over to glance over my work. Having a stranger over to your home where you can literally touch every square inch of it while standing in a central location can be a bit overwhelming. And when you live in a tiny home on wheels and never have company, you don’t think much of what wandering eyes can actually see that you have immediate access to whenever you may need it. Because it’s just you and your dog and she doesn’t give much thought to your heirloom candlestick collection. 

I mean…I know lots and lots of single gals with a couple of selfie sticks stashed here and there. Hell, I even know some single men with a shake weight or two lying in wait. And couples? They definitely (sometimes) have external (or are they in fact, internal? 🤔) hard drives amongst their possessions. 

Anyway, back to the story. After perusing my work and giving me the green light, he starts asking questions about my RV. One of which, and one I get a lot, is how exactly does my bed work? You dirty dogs!!! His line of questioning was more along the lines of, how does it slide in? 🤦🏻‍♀️ I’m never going to get through this story. 😂 How does the bed slide into the RV? That was the question. You see, my bed slides directly out the back of the RV and it’s not a common design. So, me being the ever-helpful person I am, I walk back there and lift the mattress to show how the frame slides together. And wouldn’t you know it? Right there in its’ little hidey hole beside the bed, my Alaskan pipeline was right there for this kind gentleman and the world to see. I slammed the bed down with a “nothing to see here but my power strangers” look displayed clearly across my bright red face. Exit stage right younger, single, handsome man never to be heard from again.

Now, I’ve done some dumb shit in my life, as you are all my witnesses, but this jewel takes the cake…so far. Ask me in a few days and I may be able to top it. Personal bests may be my theme for 2022. I hope your 2022 brings you all brand-new “hiding places” for your personal submersibles and everything else you didn’t know you needed in your life. Cheers! 🥂

*Edit…My blog…my rules. I don’t own a pair of shoes that tie, for good reason, so the Urban Dictionary’s definition of an Alaskan Pipeline is way above my skillset. Enjoy the dildo analogy or think I’m actually capable of such a feat, I appreciate your enthusiasm. Either way, I don’t give a shit. Now for these…👇🏻