I’ve been taking in the sights, dominating a Word Crossy Tournament (because I’m a nerdy badass) and working on a few different things, but I’d like to reach out to you guys for a couple of short tales and a cool new video. Here’s today’s story with a title courtesy of one of Rob’s many quotes.
We had some pretty good storms pass through last night. I was up checking weather reports and the radar at 2am and once I was awake, I was awake half the night. While I was watching TV in bed I saw something racing across the ceiling. I get the flashlight and a paper towel because whatever it was, it was not staying here. I shine the light and find a SPIDER! I go in for the kill and after I check the paper towel, he’s gone. Great. I’m shining the flashlight all over the place tearing up the covers and I can’t find it. I was sure my aim was dead on. Reluctantly, I get back in bed and keep watching TV as Rob keeps snoring. I drift off to sleep and if you have never slept in a camper, try it. It’s super fun when one person is pacing the floors and the other is trying to catch up on some much needed sleep. And even more fun when the pacer is a morning person and the sleeper is not.
I fire off a text asking him why he was pacing and why he keeps opening the refrigerator door. I got a, “Sorry for living,” text in return but I was already awake. Again. So, I’m reading emails and checking news stories in bed and Rob opens the door to see if I’m awake. Yes. I was. Because he doesn’t know how to stay still. When he opened the door, he must have disturbed our new room mate because off he went racing around the ceiling again. Rob grabbed a paper towel and crushed it into the spider. Or so he thought. He looked for the body and found it had fallen onto the bed and was quickly climbing the covers toward MY FACE! I’m yelling and scrambling to get out of the blankets as Rob says, “HOLD STILL!”
Have you lost your mind? There is a spider in the bed running full speed at MY FACE to escape your paper towel. I most certainly will not “hold still.” It took 2 attempts to smear him across the covers before Rob was successful. AND THEN, the only evidence he had in the paper towel was “his guts.” What? Where was the rest of him? My question was answered as we both look down and find a leg laying next me.
Now I’m up.
While we are on the subject of bugs, does everyone know what a stinkbug is? If not, Google it. I’ll wait.
They are awful, right? Now just close your eyes and imagine you are traveling with us as I tell you this next story.
Rob and I left Indiana in November to escape the cold weather. We aren’t very well insulated and water lines could freeze in an instant. As temperatures drop and the cold air moves in, the things that live outside start coming inside. And our inside is a camper. A very small space that is not very air tight. How many stinkbugs can a 24 foot Fleetwood Tioga house you ask? A SHIT LOAD. Not a day has gone by that we haven’t eradicated at least 1, nope it’s been at least 2 a day and upward from there. Total number of stinkbugs evicted? It’s March 3. I should do a raffle, like how many gum balls are in the jar and whoever comes closest gets a prize. But more like how many are in the colony of stinkbugs living in the tiny camper.
At this point, I can only hope that they are native to all the states we have been and today we have killed our quota of Georgia stinkbugs. Because to think these things have been with us the entire ride makes us want to set the camper on fire and roll it in the bottom of a lake.
But the real fun part comes when one mysteriously appears while we are going down the road. Which has happened as recently as the last travel day we had. It was on a part of the driver’s side window where there was no way it was going to fly out. One of the fascinating characteristics of a stinkbug is they have no sense of direction when they fly. And you never know when one of these things are going to take off. So it’s very important to get them when you spot them. Or they will end up in my hair. Again.
I retrieve a paper towel and brace for the crunch and smell that comes with them. As I was pulling back from his window, Rob starts loudly sighing and fidgeting in the drivers seat. Apparently I had gotten the paper towel a little too close to his face as I was checking to make sure I had gotten him. As I joked about it flying out of the paper towel and onto his face and the subsequent mayhem that would ensue, he says “It’s all fun and games until I put one on your toothbrush.”
I’ve been working on some video stuff and as luck would have it, I think I got something a little bit cool…on my very first try using the time lapse feature. I’m so behind on technology. But check it out! Hopefully it uploads.
