We have quite a few new subscribers here, so welcome to the place where you can always count on me to be inconsistent. And not apologize for it.
So yesterday I managed to accidentally steal someone’s Busch Light out of a shopping cart. LET ME EXPLAIN FIRST. I don’t really drink beer and I would not choose that beer. And I do not steal.
As I was cashing out, some jackass rammed his cart into mine. I am 100% over all the people that have flocked down here (except the ones I actually like) so my patience is as thin as tissue paper right now. So, I jerked around ready to fight and started laughing when I saw it was my neighbor. He knew the reaction he would get. People and their button pushing…Anyway, I saw he had a case of Busch Light and a few other items in his cart as I let him take over my self-checkout. (Don’t come at me with the self-checkout, I’ve got shit to do, you’ll see.) We bid farewell and I went to the parking lot to find my car.
I go down the aisle I thought I was parked in. Guess what? No car, I lost that damn thing. AGAIN! I keep thinking one day I will do better but alas, here we are.
And do you think this retailer could make navigating aisles easy for those of us that are directionally challenged? Nope. Sure can’t. Because instead of driving my cart horizontally through the vertically parked cars I had to round the fucking aisles as if I was in a CAR! Because they have whole ass curbs separating the aisles.
I decide to park my security blanket in these situations in the cart corral as I have 3 light bags and hoof it to go BETWEEN the aisles to use my key fob to sound my horn by locking it. (I swear I am not an idiot.) And there it is. One case of Busch Light sitting in the front compartment of a returned cart. I immediately think, my neighbor’s forgotten his case of beer! Because surely 2 cases of this beer aren’t going out the doors at nearly the same time.
I try reaching him and no reply, so I put my groceries in this cart and set off to find my car because surely this is his beer. It’s still cold!
Nope. Not in that aisle
Nope. Not in that aisle either.
I drive this cart 3 aisles back to the left, yes, up and down the damn aisles. I finally find it. Does this fucking thing drive itself away and park in a space it prefers when I turn my back laughing the entire time? I would swear it does. Stupid car.
I get back to the RV park, do a few chores and decide to walk over and see if this was his case of beer.
Annnnd…you guessed it. Not his beer.
Now I feel like a real asshole. I STOLE SOMEONE’S BEER…IN BROAD DAYLIGHT! Karma is going to suck for this one. Hopefully I can cash in on some of the not being able to find my car chips to make it right.
The moral of the story don’t be friends with me so I don’t have to steal beer out of an empty cart and worry that I’m a terrible person while my car reparks itself.
And now for a bonus with this story…I was walking over to ask Dave about the felony beer and Big John was sitting outside his RV. I waved and said, “Hiii!” as I usually do with people, and I TRIPPED! Dear god when will my life get easier? John laughed, thank goodness. I didn’t fall all the way down, just a little stumble.
I spoke to Big John on Sunday and asked him the same questions again on Monday. And I wanted to ask the same ones yesterday because I don’t remember the answers. Again. And I wonder why he asks if I’m “here” or not.
Nope. Definitely not Big John. Maybe someday, but not today.
I am surrounded by some of the best people. It doesn’t matter if I’m traveling or in a holding pattern, this lifestyle has the best folks’ hands down.
Now for a little bit of Colorado. There will be many more photos of CO, I spent a lot of time there and it is beautiful.
