For those of you not in the know about the care package my hilarious neighbors have sent me, here’s the link.
Friend: What are you doing?
Me: Oh, you know, just gluing penises on my wall. (Or is it peni? Weigh in English majors. Or anatomy people, you may know more than the grammar police.)
Friend: (Laughing hysterically) Why does this not surprise me?
Ok, so listen up you little juvenile delinquents…The Elrod’s penises inspired me to ask something of you crazy kids. I miss you guys. Well, some of you, I’m kidding. Or am I?
The road map wall needs a little character. And that’s where you come in. I want to bring a little bit of you guys on the road with me.
Send me your kid’s drawings, hand-written notes, pictures (especially pictures of naked, I mean of half naked hot dudes), jokes, questions you want me to answer, toasts, doctored up pictures of people we know, bizarre news articles with funny headlines, hilarious memes, or whatever your little hearts desire.
But there are a few ground rules. I know, rules, schmules. But because I know all of you, I’d be crazy not to set some boundaries. All of my mail goes to a mail forwarding service and I will get my mail monthly. I cannot receive boxes at this location only envelopes, see below. Anything you send will be put on the wall. So, nothing that is heavy, for obvious reasons, and not only do I live in a shoebox, weight is also a logistic I have to consider while traveling. The postmaster will not deliver your envelope without a return address, so at least use your neighbors address. And lastly, let’s be funny, not disgusting. But if you send me a picture of your butthole, it’s totally going on the wall, along with your name.
I can only receive boxes, but not vaginas, when I’m sitting still for a week or so and even then, I don’t want vaginas. So, if you want to send me anything in a box, make sure it has stacks of cash in it and I’ll give you an address of where I am currently staying when you want to send it, just email me for that information.
My mail forwarding service address is:
Tara (insert your best adjective here) Barber
189 Rainbow Drive #8937
Livingston, TX 77399
I can’t wait to see what you weirdos come up with. But remember, more than likely I’ve got some shit on you too. If not, I have apps that do. Until then, here are a few pictures of Montana.
