Living mobile I have been able to meet some incredible people on this journey. I’ve written about several of them in previous blog posts. Of course, the Frencheese and Roxy’s friend in MT with the prosthetic leg…OH, and remember the wildlife guy that took the squirrels? I know I’ll never forget that guy and the chaos that brought him into our lives. Go back and read their stories if you haven’t already.
Well, here’s the story of another stray I’ve managed to pick up along the way. Everyone, meet the latest in my cast of characters, Ron.
We all have that one friend that is a loose cannon, the one that you never know what is going to come out of their mouth at any given moment. Well, mine is Ron. He brings wine over sometimes for an evening chat or I share my White Claws at gatherings with him, only the mango ones though. But he has taken a liking to the strawberry ones now since that was all I had left at the time.
This guy, so many stories about him, but what I want to tell you about is how our friendship began over 2 years ago.
So, pétanque is a thing here. Think bocce but everyone speaks French Canadian. Kidding, not really but don’t tell my Canadian friends I called it bocce, I’ll lose my late-night wine privileges at some of their RVs, and they keep me sane during the great snowbird invasion. So don’t do that or I’m coming to live with you. Anyway, I have often seen them play this game as my RV is 2 sites away from the official “court”, but I’ve never participated. And you will see why in a minute. So, if you’re not familiar with bocce, each player has 2 balls, even the women, and you throw them overhand at a tiny little ball, whatever it’s called, in a sand pit. Or in our case, the litter box, because, well…cats. (Shhhh my loyal weirdos.) And whoever gets their big ball the closest to the little ball gets the point for their team. Or whatever. I don’t really know; I don’t pay attention.
Everyone here is so nice and patient. With me, you have to be, or you’ll want to murder me. I think some of them secretly do but they know I’m slightly…different so they give me a pass.
Anyway, there were a handful of men out there and they needed an extra for this particular game. So, they asked me if I would like to play.
Brave souls. I was never picked last, hell, I was never even picked at all for team sports. Especially those involving a ball. Well now, for some individual sports involving 2 balls I “may” get picked these days.
Jesus, back to it. They invite me over and I get to do some practice throws. Now these metal balls weigh 10 pounds each. Not really but it sure seemed like it as it was coming straight for my face after I overhand threw it straight up in the air. I swear I would drown sometimes if I went outside in the rain and stared up. Anyway, this fucking metal ball is coming right at me and all I could do is say, “Oh shit!” and nervous giggle. But I manage to get my dumbass out of the way, and it was “suggested” I try throwing underhand from then on. Well now you tell me!
After practice, I assume my position in the introvert section, where I don’t have to talk to anyone, and Ron drives up on his scooter. We get to talking about nothing and everything, everyone is always curious about the single gal and Ron is no different. As we were chatting he said, “It’s a game of inches.” And I said, “That’s what she said.” My brain is broken, and I say the first thing that comes to mind when I’m nervous. Another reason I should have a handler because that was the wrong thing to say to this guy!
He leans back, crosses his hands on his lap and lets out a loud chuckle. Typical Ron fashion. Now mind you, this is our first encounter. We continue to talk; he takes turns throwing and I take turns trying not to get any more brain damage and soon after the game is over.
But not before I say, “I’m really glad these snowbirds are going home.”
His response, “Me too so I can finally use the campground WIFI to watch my porn.” And drove his scooter off into the sunset.
And he’s still upping the ante in our conversations to this day.
Ron is one of my favorite people on this planet. I never know what is going to come out of his mouth and I’m always here for it. Thank you for all of the laughs, for keeping me on my toes and a great friendship. Cheers to so many more wine nights and memories to be made.
I’ve been making writing more of a priority. In fact, I already have another story on deck, hoping to send that out next week? I like to be just as surprised as you are when it comes out.
I’ve been going through photos on my phone to make more space for all the other things I’m going to cram on there, and a few frogs need to exit stage right. So here are more of our travels from the archives for you.
